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The latter is how boys are taught to become men and stay that way. At 30, it will be hard to remember that you deserve the love of all of the smart, encouraging, relentlessly powerful women in your life. The ones who will always demand you be better, more awake. There will be talk about sex, what to do or not to do, how to put on a condom. At 26, you will realize that you have never been given any unwanted attention on any street. You have friends, eager to live through another story of another boy crossing over to the Promised Land, with no concern for what or who it takes to get there. It begins with you, speaking up. If you could write a letter to your teenage self explaining what you wish you had known about sex back then, what would you say? It will limit your ability to love and be loved for far too many years. You live in that time now, and you always will. You will be shown a new and exciting world, almost as if you are being given a brochure about a thrilling vacation that is just on the horizon. The thing you carry into every new relationship, the thing you are reminded of when you fight for people other than yourself, the thing that reminds you to sit, listen, and take up less and less of the space you are afforded. Tearing that tower down also begins now, when a man teaches sex as if it is a gift. But you are lucky. The past, in this way, will be a healthy burden. It will also limit your imagination, the type of good that you allow yourself to be. How to be honest about that love. How to love a woman for something other than sex. But it will also hurt you. It is an unfair myth, told for a very specific purpose, for very specific reasons. Something that you are entitled to simply by existing as a boy or a man in America. In summer, you went to sleep with a mother, and woke up to a cold and empty space, a funeral being planned in the living room. In coming years, you will know loss in much more trivial ways. There will always be a group of men who pretend to not feel shame for what they do to anyone who is not a man. Though it may not seem like it, there will be a time, far from now.
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