But at some point you went on line just in case there was anyone else who had been through the same kind of emotional war zone. One of the reasons so many men stay and keep trying to fix what they know is a broken relationship is that it often takes a while for them to finally shake the feeling that the woman they were in love with could still be somewhere inside of the person who has turned against them. Most men after their breakup with a woman with traits of borderline personality disorder eventually realize that they lost the woman they fell in love with when the transformation from idealization to devaluation took place, not when the actual relationship ended. So how can a woman engage in the same behavior patterns and not have borderline personality disorder? Despite everything you did, chances are you were forced to come to the conclusion that although you had no idea what could have caused this transformation, you were not going to be able to resolve it. Qualifying For The Diagnosis There may have been an eye-opening wake-up moment of realizing that you finally had an explanation that made sense out of all of the confusing and painful behavior you experienced from your ex. Because there are very few resources available for men who have experienced this type of psychological stress, many men suffer in silence taking years to heal from these emotional battle wounds. After all, her behaviors were being spelled out right in front of you on a borderline personality disorder website.
And you would have been correct in one aspect. Despite everything you did, chances are you were forced to come to the conclusion that although you had no idea what could have caused this transformation, you were not going to be able to resolve it. At that point you may have seen words on your computer screen that described in uncanny detail every negative behavior your ex engaged in after her Dr. After all, her behaviors were being spelled out right in front of you on a borderline personality disorder website. Assessing The Extent Of The Damage Even though you may have been wrong about your ex having a personality disorder, you are not wrong about the damage you suffered from being in a relationship with her. Whether it happened slowly or it was an overnight transformation, you probably eventually realized that the woman who was once in love with you had turned against you, and unless you fixed the problem, you were going to lose what you may have felt was the most important relationship of your life. Because the behaviors of women with only a few traits of borderline personality disorder within a relationship are often the same as those who have the actual disorder, you may have suffered in a very similar way. You probably eventually found the courage to end the relationship. The truth is, we all possess one or even a few character traits of various personality disorders. But at some point you went on line just in case there was anyone else who had been through the same kind of emotional war zone. Those behaviors that you experienced in your relationship are the same behaviors individuals with borderline personality disorder engage in when they are in a romantic relationship. The psychological damage that women who idealize and then devalue in relationships can inflict on their partners can be very difficult to heal from. The Traits Of Borderline Personality Disorder If your ex was reasonably functional in her life before she met you and these behaviors only occurred within your relationship, the chances are she does share some character traits with people who have the disorder. Although your ex may not have the disorder, she engaged in the same destructive behaviors, and the answers to why she treated you as she did can be found by reading about the disorder. You may have at first thought you must be the only one taken down by this crazy-making cycle of false accusations and endless circular arguments. The behavior of idealizing and then devaluing a relationship partner does not necessarily mean that your ex has this personality disorder. They may find that they cannot recover unless they go through stages of grieving that are similar to those who have lost a loved one. But just having character traits does not mean she necessarily has the disorder itself. Others experience the abrupt personality reversal as the actual loss of the person they were in love with. The environment that your ex created in your relationship probably caused you to walk through a psychological minefield on a daily basis. The answer was clear, that your ex must have borderline personality disorder. You may also have read that this type of personality transformation is one of the telltale signs of borderline personality disorder. It is also important to realize that the commonly-held belief that in romantic relationships both partners always play a part will not always hold true in relationships where one of the partners has traits of borderline personality disorder. Just as there is a specific profile that we can use to identify a women with traits of borderline personality disorder, there is also a profile for the kind of man these women choose to be in relationships with. Borderline personality disorder is actually a very serious and complex condition that can only be diagnosed by a mental health professional. Most men after their breakup with a woman with traits of borderline personality disorder eventually realize that they lost the woman they fell in love with when the transformation from idealization to devaluation took place, not when the actual relationship ended. If you are like most men, you probably felt completely helpless to reestablish any kind of communication that could allow you back into her good graces.
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